This morning is the first time I’ve been able to properly was or change my clothes in a few days so that’s enjoyable. We meet some of Joe and Jimmy’s housemates and hang out with them for a bit in the morning, which is nice. We stop off for some food, I go for a bit of vegetable soup – a very good choice. Then it’s back in the van for another drive! I sleep for most of this journey while I listen to some music, and I wake up quite a lot feeling very confused as to where we are.
When we arrive at the venue the sound man for tonight is a dead ringer for Tony Robinson with a pony tail which provides some mild amusement. He’s good at his job so sound check doesn’t take long at all and before long we’re tucking into a massive pile of ‘chicken’ curry. I say ‘chicken’ as there’s probably only about 5 pieces of chicken between us all, but it’s still brilliant to eat some hot food. Shapes arrive and we sit with them for a while and watch the support band. Then it’s time for Shapes to play, they rip it up and then it’s over to us. We played a long set tonight, including some newer songs which I love to play because I haven’t heard them much and they’re lots of fun. The set goes well, and I win the ‘how many people will watch us tonight’ game with a closest guess of 15. I think it was actually about 13 including some insane woman who hassled Mike, Paul and Luke when they went to find a shop.
We get everything packed away quickly as we’re going home again tonight for a day off tomorrow so the van has never been full quicker. Then we have an emotional goodbye with Shapes, and curse the fact our 5 shows together got cut down to 3. I love Shapes, they’re all ace guys and a wicked band but I probably shouldn’t go blogging that too much. Once the tears have been wiped away we get in the van and hit the road, fully expecting to watch Golden Child, the Eddie Murphy film Luke has been filling my head with exciting stories about. Unfortunately it’s not in the van and SOMEONE left it at home. We start watching Team America instead but then the sat nav goes insane and makes us drive down terrifying single track roads in the pitch black and everyone goes mad on ‘what ifs’ and ‘imaginew…’ and we all get quite scared. Luckily we find our way back to the main roads eventually and then everyone falls asleep until we get to near George Eliot hospital which is a nice way to pass a boring drive. Then it’s back to my lovely, soft, comfortable bed for a lot of sleep.
4 days ago
The thought of driving Middlesbrough to Bournemouth is not a pleasant one at all but that’s what we have to do today. The alarm goes off at 8.50 and by 9 we’re back in the van on the road. This is going to be a long drive as we have to drop Scott off pick up a new driver en route. The drive starts off nice enough, I listen to a bit of music then watch ‘Taken’ on my laptop which is really surprisingly awesome. Liam Neeson isn’t the kind of guy you’d expect to be a hard man but he manages to pull it off nicely. Also Holly Valance is in it which is surprising as I didn’t realise she still existed!
What a badass.
After a bit more music and a service stop everyone is starting to get a bit bored but it’s still only lunchtime and we’ve not even hit the midlands yet. I have a bit of a sleep and wake up in time to drop Scott off at his parents for his massive marquee party and then see Luke drive off and leave Paul to catch us up. Then it’s back on the road, stopping frequently to put all of our money into the fuel tank and to pick up Dan our driver for the next few days. Then it’s back on the road for loads more driving, we’re at about Oxford by 4 so we put on Blade to watch that. By the time that finishes we’re still not there and it’s apparent that this is the only existence I have left to look forward to so I accept my fate as a perpetual van traveller and give up on the people I knew in my former life outside of the van.
By 7 we are finally rolling into Bournemouth but we have to park quite far down the road from the venue. We all shakily start loading in, our withered legs struggling to hold up our weight and the street lights burning our pale skin. The only thing that kept me going on our 10 hour car journey was that we would be getting a lovely hot buy out meal this evening, but that clearly is not true and instead I have to make do with some slightly stale bread, ham and cheese slices and some Doritos. Luckily for me Broads and Luke take pity on me and give me a slice of their pizza. We watch the Hooligan Choir pedal their Oasis-lite wares, suffer the wrath of their hooligan fans and laugh when they shout at the sound man to “TURN THE MIKE UP!” and “TURN THE MUSIC DOWN” then return to their all time favourite “COME ON MY SANNN!”
Shapes are quality again, although unfortunately there aren’t many people watching them as the Hooligan Choir have left and taken all their supporters with them. When we play a few people are still around and then it’s time to load the van for the billionth time. We start talking to Adam and Joe, a couple of guys who watched us, and they’re kind enough to offer us a place to stay for the night. This is fantastic news as we were looking at either sleeping in the van, our prison for the day, or driving somewhere nearby. The guys take us to Walkabout to meet up with their housemate Joe and have a drink. If you’ve never been to a Walkabout it’s a weird ‘Australian’ themed bar where nothing has any relevance to Australia whatsoever and awful people go with only one thing in mind. So obviously we’re all quite surprised to actually have fun amongst the stench of desperation and fosters. It’s mostly because the songs they’re playing feature heavily on our van mix, and that our round of £15 somehow only costs us £5 and because Joe turns up with a tray of shots for us.
After the short van ride home, Joe gets a little worse for wear in the street and then we all have a cup of tea and go to bed. Lovely. I share a tiny room with Paul, Dan, a drum kit, about 6 modems and Paul’s snores and I wake up in the morning after having a dream about one of the house mates being an ex-convict to one of the guy’s I’ve never met looming over me!
4 days ago
It’s a very nice feeling to wake up in my own bed actually feeling refreshed from sleep instead of aching all over for once today. After a leisurely morning including a cooked breakfast, a massive shower, cutting some bed sheets up for my Halloween costume and a bit of a repack it’s time for Paul to pick up me and Mike and head back to the only world we know now, the van. Everyone is in good spirits and the rest or lack of it has made all the difference.
Today we’re off to Middlesbrough, which is about 3 hours away so we settle down to watch ‘Haggard’ to pass the time. After that the TV is miraculously working on the move so we watch the final scores come in and before we know it we’ve arrived at the venue. It’s not long after the end of the match and Middlesbrough were at home today so the pub is filled with shaved head hooligan looking types so we retreat to the end of the bar to meet the promoter Henry. Henry is a really nice guy and former member of the band Dartz! Who are one of my favourites so it’s nice to meet him and see the Shapes guys again when they arrive. After a while, and a few disastrous games of Pub Quiz and Bull’s Eye on the It Box all the hard nuts disappear and the Brute Chorus arrive and we can all relax and tuck into the Turtle’s style stack of pizzas we have for dinner. After that we tell Shapes about the drum clinic, discover bass drum bum aka ‘Kick Arse’ and take some before and after shots of Gav being cured of Snare face as shown here:
Before:
After:
We get soundchecked and head to the van for the most important business of the night, the X Factor. It’s rock night tonight which leads to some cringe worthy rock ballads and ‘rock chick’ comments. Danyl was rubbish tonight and Lucy was still really hot. I also get into my costume, which is the least thought out, shocking costume, and help Mike make a ghost costume out of a sheet. From the van we can see people starting to arrive and almost everyone is in an amazing costume which makes me feel like the let down I am. It’s nice to see a crowd though!
Here’s me and Mike in the process of getting ready:
Soon it’s time for Shapes and they absolutely tear it up, they sound great tonight. It’s amazing how tight they are and I think they get better every time I see them live. We play next, and as the set starts I realise Mike isn’t wearing his costume so I’m the only one who looks like a dick head. I have the last laugh by calling him a bastard then overheating for the rest of the set. I don’t know why I decided that having a load of fabric hanging from me would be a good idea, but it isn’t and over the course of the set my costume gradually falls off, all over my guitar and wrapping round my legs, doing anything it can to make life more difficult. My leads both decide to stop working for a bit for no apparent reason so tonight is a bit of a test for me! I manage to stagger through the set though and we finish the set and pack down then watch the Brute Chorus. They have quite a 50s rock and roll sound done in a really weird way, it’s hard to describe but they were wicked. The singer has an epic moustache and suit combo too.
After the bands finish we hang out with Gav, Steve and Rich and have a few drinks. Luke is somehow the master of getting free drinks even though we finish our free beers off long ago so he becomes my best friend for the night. The DJ starts playing some rock and roll and blues so we all storm the dance floor and bust out some absolutely sweet moves. After the music stops we go back to Henry’s to stay with the Shapes lads in convoy. Henry looks massively unimpressed as Scott beeps the horn and Luke and Broads shout at people through the window. When we get back all 9 of us pile into the living room/kitchen and everyone drunkenly talks rubbish for a bit until the gauntlet is thrown down between Broads and Steve. They roll around the floor with each other for a bit while we all laugh and Mike takes compromising photos then Henry’s flat mate Jen and her boyfriend come home. They get the toaster on and before long everyone is bursting with the never ending supply of toast she fixes up with. We promise to not write false blogs about her like Tubelord and then finally fall asleep. An altogether fun day!
4 days ago
We woke up to the bad news that the show tonight has been cancelled which sucks but at least we can come home for the night. I swiftly made an appointment for a hair cut and we blasted it home to Nuneaton just in time for that whilst discussing the future of Paul Wechter’s drum clinics. He’s good at curing Snare face I think.
Since I’ve been home I’ve discovered my mum buys no food while I’m away, had a shower, watched the Simpsons, washed my clothes and listened to some records but now I’m bored and want to play a show! I can’t wait for tomorrow! At least I’m going to Tom’s to watch a film and he’s buying a pizza and hopefully I can not pay anything.
I’ll probably edit these blogs and put a few more pictures in when Rory and Mike get theirs uploaded.
1 week ago
Everyone had a pretty massive sleep apart from me, which was quite frustrating. While everyone rested I hung out on my own for a bit, go on the internet and generally got ridiculously bored until everyone woke up and dressed. We went into Cardiff city center and have a look around and I buy a couple of records. It’s probably just because of last night but I really didn’t really take to Cardiff at all. Its well too hectic because of all the kids on half term. We get back in the van and head to Bristol which is a leisurely hours drive and set up in the venue which turns out to be quite a nice bar. Weirdly we sound check as people are eating so we get quite a few odd looks and almost clear the place out. It’s quite funny though, “Knife and Fork, but are you gonna bang doe?” And “Damn, that’s some fish and chips” being my favourite microphone checks. The sound guy is a little insane too, he tells us and Holy State that the venue is filled with Tigers and Polar Bears which is a bit weird.
We get to eat anything off the menu we like, and it’s a good menu indeed. I get hand made nachos and chilli which is awesome and then hang out with Owen and his friends Adam and Greg for a bit before Holy State play. We finally have a bit of a crowd for the gig for the first time in a few days and Holy State tear it up. I think this might have been my favourite time I saw them all tour. The audience also contains Jeff, the guy who goes to every gig in Bristol ever, ever, ever. He told me he’s been to over 200 gigs this year which is clearly insane. We play and a few people get some sweet moves out then I beg Owen to put us up to which he kindly complies. We load the van, including Adam and Owen’s bike and get a cup of tea and then I fall asleep while everyone else goes on the internet and checks out the house’s sweet record collection.
1 week ago
I wake up to the cacophonous snores of Paul Wechter. It amazes me that someone so small could make such horrific sounds but he manages it every night! As dust falls from the rafters and the windows rattle in their frames everyone wakes up and decides to go get some breakfast. Getting ready quickly isn’t exactly one of our strong points though so we get to listen to some of the highlights from Victor’s record collection including Saetia, The Plot To Blow Up The Eiffel Tower and Black Sabbath. We eventually head into Leeds for some food and Broads takes on the mega breakfast in the café. It’s so big that there’s a tally of how many people have taken the challenge and how many have completed it. The statistics are stacked well in the favour of defeat. I save my money a little bit and stock up on supplies with Mike in Sainsbury’s.
We hit the road and head to near Wolverhampton to pick up our new driver and get the van fixed. The drive is boring as usual and we’re all grateful to stretch our legs after a few hours in the van while it gets sorted. We get wrap Paul in gaffer tape and meet Scott our new driver, who we all get on with straight away. It turns out he was in P-Rock favourites The Fight so you can see the kind of good guy we’re dealing with here.
The rest of the drive is quite uneventful. Me and Paul watch the rest of Terminator but after a few explosions I wake up in the dark feeling quite confused until Paul informs me the film finished three quarters of an hour ago. Oh well, I guess old habits die hard. When we get to the venue there’s a gig on before the NME club that we’re playing so we have to wait around til about 10.30 before we can load in and sound check so we have to hang around for a while. Nick, who we’re staying with tonight, so we catch up with him and have a few drinks.
The club night starts but it quickly becomes clear that nobody knows what’s going on, that nobody promoted the night at all and that the promoter has done a runner so everyone is understandably pissed off. Holy State play to us and a few of their friends who leave before we play. We play a new song, and have a pointless jam which includes me and Mike giving our guitars to the members of the ‘crowd’ to make sure we get paid. Luckily the bar manager pays us even though it’s not his fault and gives us a free drink to say sorry but everyone is pretty bummed out and we go to Nick’s to bed. On the way back we act like total dick heads which is hilarious. Luke threw a jam donut and yelled “You jammy bastard” and then we laugh all the way back when we see Fanny Street.
1 week ago
Today is a lovely chilled out day for the most part. We only have a little drive in the afternoon and we’ve all had a really good sleep so everyone feels tonnes better. After we wake up we chill out at Chelsea’s and have a cup of tea and listen to a bit of American Football and head to Beanscene for a drink before we say goodbye to her and meet the rest of the guys. My shoes have the most ridiculously big holes in so I have to go get some from town and change my disgusting soggy socks in the shop which all the shop assistants find hilarious. After a bit of lunch we start the drive to Edinburgh, which takes us about an hour and a half, a doddle by the standards of this tour!
I listen some Joy Division and write some of this blog on the way and before I know it we’re there. We have a nice early soundcheck and the soundman happens to be from Birmingham. He used to play in Baxter, who played at the Caddy Club and in Distophia who became Calories so it’s nice to talk to him, and the bar maid is really nice too so everybody feels pretty relaxed.
Me, Mike and Paul go to get lunch from a restaurant behind the venue which turns out to be the greatest decision ever. I have sausage, sweet potato mash and red wine and caramalised red onion gravy and it’s basically the greatest thing I’ve ever eaten. When we go back to the venue Mike can’t find his laptop so we tear the venue apart only for it to still be in the restaurant! To celebrate we go to the castle and check out the views and get back in time for some more Holy State. There’s a few more people in tonight than last night which is wicked and a couple of guys even get their cds signed. I think we played well, with the Holy State percussion section out in full force again.
The only downer on a pretty chilled out day is the four hour drive to Leeds after we load out. Luckily we have our new secret weapon, the ‘bangin’ ‘slammin’ UK Funky mix we made for the van and before we play so that keeps us entertained, as well as telling stories about how hard our Dad’s are and ghosts and Ouiji Boards.Eventually the back of the van sleeping team drift off and we eventually get to Victors and to sleep at about 4.45. Grim.
1 week ago
Another early start after for another Ferry is the last thing I want but it’s the price you pay for ultra fun. Me, Paul and Mike take our positions in the back of the van and try to sleep in a series of increasingly uncomfortable positions while Luke drives and Broads navigates. This formation works for us but I feel a bit guilty that Luke has to keep driving! I blame John the van man for messing up his schedule. This time we had to drive to Belfast to get the Ferry to Scotland, and it’s lovely to see the extortionate prices in the Queen’s sterling.
(Paul being grateful for Luke’s driving skills.)
After the ferry Luke skilfully weaves along the Scottish coastline and me and the Wecht watch Gladiator and I fall asleep during all the boring bits and see all the gore which is like some kind of incredible highlights reel. Today is a bit of a boring one because we spend most of it travelling, then setting up but when all that is taken care of we can start to have some fun. We meet up with the Holy State guys again and they’re playing Magic: The Gathering. I have literally no idea what is happening as they play but it’s fun to watch the arguments break out. We get some amazing pizzas and talk music, films and tattoos and get to know them a bit better. They have their friend Adam with them, and along with Jason and Chelsea who we’re staying with tonight, he’s the only person there!
This looks like it could be a disaster but before Holy State’s set we all grab some candles and make the show a little more homely. Holy Ghost as the posters for the show have renamed them, played brilliantly tonight and the sound is amazing so it’s a shame no body made it. After their set we swap the gear over and play ourselves. This is when it starts to all get a little bit homoerotic. All the Holy State guys join us on stage playing percussion, for literally the whole set and it’s not long before everyone is topless. Max grabs a drum out of nowhere while everyone else dances round a candle and they lay down the challenge to get more naked and before long almost everyone is in their boxers. The bar staff from downstairs come down and watch the ridiculous scenes unfold. It’s a bit of a shame but what could have been a rubbish night turned into a really fun one. After dropping the van off Jason and Chelsea take us to Nice and Sleazys for a drink and then take pity on us as we’re all so tired and let us go home to bed! Me and Broads go back to Chelsea’s for a cup of tea and then get to sleep in her bed which is above her kitchen and bathroom. As soon as my head hits the pillow I’m out for the most amazing night sleep ever in the muscular arms of BZE.
1 week ago
We woke up early thanks to the Bible Lady getting her revenge by getting up early but this did mean we could get some free breakfast which was very much appreciated. After having a few people’s worth of breakfast we all eventually managed to get showered and dressed after went back to meet Jordan at flat number 14, our new second home. We went for a walk round Dublin, saw Jess at work then went to watch the Man Utd – Liverpool game in the pub like real men. This was actually fun, Broads and Luke were going mad and it turns out Irish people do actually use the word eejit, so it’s not just Father Ted.
After this testosterone fuelled interlude we went to see No Age at the Exchange which is a really cool new multi purpose arts venue that is funded by the council. I wish we had something like that at home, it’s brilliant. Apparently they have council meetings to decide what to do so it’d be a brilliant project to get involved in. No Age are wicked, the drummer/singer got stuck in Norway last night so he looked happy to be reunited with the guitarist and to be playing. I never quite clicked with them on record but they were brilliant live so I’ll definitely give them another go when I get home. It’s pretty weird to watch a band in the afternoon but it’s a really fun show. The police even turn up to complain about the noise!
After that we just have enough time for some tea at Jord’s before we need to go set up. Me and Mike try to eat on €8 between us so we end up in the spa cafe and this is the horrendous challenge I faced:
Because my teeth aren’t made of diamond I take it back and get my money back and get a chocolate muffin instead. They should make their food better because we’re turning it into a cool kids hang out, we even saw No Age in there.
When we get back we do all the usual getting ready stuff, then Wechter open’s and defiles Pandora’s box just as everyone else arrives and we hang out in the upstairs room and drink all our free beers. Then we play and everyone has lots of fun, Broads gets through the show really well with a bad throat and we all do lots of dancing. After that we drink some more beers and hang out in the street by the van, sell some tshirts, steal €10 off Tash, get abused by some douche bags who say I must be a rich posh fop if I really am from Birmingham, drink some vodka and then go to the Village. Some old dude called Tommy does a bit of karaoke while loads of girls rip his shirt off and then we bust out some moves to the weirdest mix of songs ever. It’s about this point that I realise Dave Clarke is my dancing soul mate and that Dublin is amazing. On the way home everyone decides that we should move to Dublin or at least come back to visit asap! This weekend was amazing and we’re all a bit sad to leave Jord and Jess and all the other wicked people we met. Our hostel room is full of dancers who forgot to wash so the room honks of cheese which adds to the misery.
1 week ago
