The thought of driving Middlesbrough to Bournemouth is not a pleasant one at all but that’s what we have to do today. The alarm goes off at 8.50 and by 9 we’re back in the van on the road. This is going to be a long drive as we have to drop Scott off pick up a new driver en route. The drive starts off nice enough, I listen to a bit of music then watch ‘Taken’ on my laptop which is really surprisingly awesome. Liam Neeson isn’t the kind of guy you’d expect to be a hard man but he manages to pull it off nicely. Also Holly Valance is in it which is surprising as I didn’t realise she still existed!
What a badass.
After a bit more music and a service stop everyone is starting to get a bit bored but it’s still only lunchtime and we’ve not even hit the midlands yet. I have a bit of a sleep and wake up in time to drop Scott off at his parents for his massive marquee party and then see Luke drive off and leave Paul to catch us up. Then it’s back on the road, stopping frequently to put all of our money into the fuel tank and to pick up Dan our driver for the next few days. Then it’s back on the road for loads more driving, we’re at about Oxford by 4 so we put on Blade to watch that. By the time that finishes we’re still not there and it’s apparent that this is the only existence I have left to look forward to so I accept my fate as a perpetual van traveller and give up on the people I knew in my former life outside of the van.
By 7 we are finally rolling into Bournemouth but we have to park quite far down the road from the venue. We all shakily start loading in, our withered legs struggling to hold up our weight and the street lights burning our pale skin. The only thing that kept me going on our 10 hour car journey was that we would be getting a lovely hot buy out meal this evening, but that clearly is not true and instead I have to make do with some slightly stale bread, ham and cheese slices and some Doritos. Luckily for me Broads and Luke take pity on me and give me a slice of their pizza. We watch the Hooligan Choir pedal their Oasis-lite wares, suffer the wrath of their hooligan fans and laugh when they shout at the sound man to “TURN THE MIKE UP!” and “TURN THE MUSIC DOWN” then return to their all time favourite “COME ON MY SANNN!”
Shapes are quality again, although unfortunately there aren’t many people watching them as the Hooligan Choir have left and taken all their supporters with them. When we play a few people are still around and then it’s time to load the van for the billionth time. We start talking to Adam and Joe, a couple of guys who watched us, and they’re kind enough to offer us a place to stay for the night. This is fantastic news as we were looking at either sleeping in the van, our prison for the day, or driving somewhere nearby. The guys take us to Walkabout to meet up with their housemate Joe and have a drink. If you’ve never been to a Walkabout it’s a weird ‘Australian’ themed bar where nothing has any relevance to Australia whatsoever and awful people go with only one thing in mind. So obviously we’re all quite surprised to actually have fun amongst the stench of desperation and fosters. It’s mostly because the songs they’re playing feature heavily on our van mix, and that our round of £15 somehow only costs us £5 and because Joe turns up with a tray of shots for us.
After the short van ride home, Joe gets a little worse for wear in the street and then we all have a cup of tea and go to bed. Lovely. I share a tiny room with Paul, Dan, a drum kit, about 6 modems and Paul’s snores and I wake up in the morning after having a dream about one of the house mates being an ex-convict to one of the guy’s I’ve never met looming over me!
